The Legal Aid
by cxvxs
Summary: All the Disney princess are in a bind! Cinderella has shoe issues, Ariel doesn't like her contract with Ursala, and Snow White is tired of people trying to kill her! What should they do? Seek legal aid, of course! Just a funny idea I came up with.
1. Chapter 0: Shoe Issues

**The Legal Aid**

_**Chapter 1:**__** Shoe Issues**_

"Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—Danielle speaking. May I ask who's calling? Cinderella? Oh, the whole shoe issue. Looks like you need some legal advice. Call this number and make an appointment. You have a pen handy? Yes, I'll wait. Ready? Okay, the number is 1-800-847-9000. Yes, I know it's unusual for a legal aid company to have an 800 number. There's no helping it; they mostly take Disney characters. Yes, yes. It was nice talking to you to. I have another caller on hold, so I'll have to let you go. Yes, yes. Have a nice day. Bye-bye now. Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—this is Danielle speaking. How may I help you today, Misses Queen of Hearts?"

* * *

A bell dinged as Cinderella and her Prince walked into the nicely lit office of their legal aid representatives. _(They never did give his name, so I've dubbed him as "Prince Charming")_

In the lobby, to the right of the front desk, was a young girl, sitting on a couch before a coffee table. In her lap was a small book. On the table were various legal books, as well as papers and a couple pens. She was the only other person in the lobby. Even the front desk was empty. She didn't bother to look up, even when she addressed them. "Legal Aid. Welcome."

Cinderella looked around nervously. "Um, hi."

"Hello. Your legal aid representative should be out to help you shortly. Do you know what you wish to ask him, regarding your case?" She turned a page in her book, still not bothering to look up at them.

"Actually, no. I'm not even sure we have a case. It seems so much like a _'he said, she said'_ issue." Cinderella trailed off, scuffing the floor with the toe of her shoe.

Finally, the girl looked up. Her face made her look very young, no older than 14. "Is that so? Any way I can be of service?"

"Well, you see, I had a very rough childhood. I was kept inside most of the time, to do the cooking and cleaning, so I led a very sheltered life. Then I met the man of my dreams—my Prince, you could say." She smiled at her Prince.

The girl nodded to the Prince. "Prince Charming."

Cinderella nods her head before continuing. "Yes. But do certain circumstances, I had to leave the ball early, leaving only a shoe behind. And this idiot here," she smiles sweetly at her Prince, "promised to marry whoever fit _my_ shoe. We met by accident, shortly after this fiasco, but just after we met, they found somebody else who fit the shoe. Now we don't know what to do."

"Yes, I see the problem. However, legal aid won't be able to help you with this problem. For the most part, it's just as you said. A _'he said, she said'_ case. Most legal aid representatives try to avoid those types of cases more than others."

Cinderella's face fell and Prince Charming wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Isn't there anything anyone can do?" He asked hopelessly. The girl looked at Cinderella's crestfallen face and sighed. Scratching the back of her head, she answered slowly. "Fine. I feel sorry for the two of you, so I'll give you some free advice just this once."

She looked at Cinderella, giving her a measured look, before shaking her head. "First and foremost, I must ask. Are you absolutely certain that the shoe is your shoe?" When Cinderella nodded, she sighed. "That would be a right of ownership case. Also, about this other girl, are you sure she _wants_ to marry your Prince? If she's against the marriage to him, or unsure, that might work in your favor."

"How could she be against marrying him? He's just so darling and sweet!"

"You never know. Not every girl dreams of marrying a prince. In addition," she turned to face the Prince. "You'll probably want to ask for a test first, to make sure this mystery girl is your dream girl; since she's not, she should fail the test. Ask her to run in the shoe. If it stays on, that will be your proof she's not the girl of your dreams. You've been going about this all wrong. The shoe may look like it fits Cinderella's foot, but in reality, it's a smidge too big. If it fit perfectly, no matter how much she ran, it wouldn't come off. Trust me, no matter if it's high heels, no matter who she's running from or how fast she's running, no girl would lose a shoe that fit perfectly, even if it _was_ made of glass."

She turned back to Cinderella. "As for your _rough childhood._ Last I knew, forced child labor and servitude counts as child abuse. I suggest you claim child abuse to your legal aid rep., and then build a case against your stepmother. With luck, you'll get back your father's house and money, along with all the animals."

"Does that include the mice?"

"Mice? Sure, the mice could probably live there. I see no problem with that, except you would have to find a proper place for them to live. They can't just live in the walls. The house to be up to code and all. I really don't know or understand that stuff, so you should talk to your legal aid rep—there he is now!" She looked past them as a man in a nice, gray business suit came out from a door next to the front desk. "Roger, two coming your way!"

He waved the couple to be over and Prince Charming made his way over to him in an instant. Cinderella hesitated, turning to the girl. "Thank you so much for all you advice."

The girl had gone back to her book. She turned a page, carelessly waving her away with her hand. She didn't look up. "Yeah, yeah. Sure thing. No problem. Go get 'em."

Cinderella smiled slightly, and then made her way over to _'Roger'_, talking in a soft tone with him. He ushered them into his office, firmly shutting the door behind them. The girl looked up and smiled. "Good luck you two."

Several minute passed by and they emerged, smiling and talking softly with Roger. They left after a minute, the glass doors silently closing after them. She paid them no heed, flipping a page in her book. Her cell phone rang half an hour later and she flipped it open. "Hello? Oh, it's you. For the last time, _no!_ I'm not going to marry some prince I've never met just because of some stupid shoe. It was a fluke, anyways. Who knew the shoe would fit me as well? I'm hanging up now. No, I still refuse to marry him. Why would I want to test if the shoe fits again? If someone else fits the shoe, let them marry him. Goodbye." She shook her head, flipping the phone shut.

"Who knew that trying on a shoe some weirdo was holding out after coming out of a shoe store would cause so much trouble? I thought it was some sort of joke, so I tried it on. Seriously, who dances in glass shoes?"

_Hope you enjoyed this fun chapter! I just thought it would be interesting if the Disney Princess had gone for legal aid for their individual problems. Next time, Ariel comes with her father!_

_Be sure to catch the next chapter! It's sure to make you smile!  
_


	2. Chapter 1: Binding Legal Contract

**The Legal Aid**

_**Chapter 2:**__** Loop holes**_

"Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—Amanda speaking. May I ask who's calling? Ariel? A legal contract issue? Looks like you need some legal advice. Call this number and make an appointment. You have a pen handy? Yes, I suppose a squid would work. Ready? Okay, the number is 1-800-847-9000. Yes, I know it's unusual for a legal aid company to have an 800 number. There's no helping it; they mostly take Disney characters. Yes, yes. I'm sure they will be able to help you. They have a surprisingly large amount of happy customers. I have another caller on hold, so I'll have to let you go. Yes, yes. Have a nice day. Bye-bye now. Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—this is Amanda speaking. How may I help today, Mister Captain Hook?"

* * *

"Legal Aid. Welcome." A girl was seated on the couch next to table in the far right corner of the lobby. Her hair was light brown, although considerably shorter than before. It stopped midway down her back, and was curled in tight bunches. Her outfit was a long, flowing green skirt and a light green blouse decorated with aqua flowers. She ignored the thundering amount of water that appeared tumbling through the door. King Triton and Ariel arrived a moment later. A little man scurried out from behind the front desk, rushing to get them both a large, glass fish-tank. He placed both the merman and mermaid in them. The girl remained oblivious to all that was going on. Ariel looked around curiously. "Legal Aid. Welcome." The girl repeated.

"Young lady, don't look down on us merfolk just because we don't have legs. We are royalty."

"New flash. Most of our clients are royalty. I treat them the same way I treat you. Moreover, I'm not a _'young lady'_ I'm a regular 20-year-old girl. Do you have your questions ready to ask your legal aid representative? They should be with you shortly."

"Look up when you're speaking to royalty!" Triton thundered.

"Daddy! Be nice! And don't shout; it's not good for your blood pressure."

The girl slammed her book up, silencing them both. She raised her head slowly, her eyes meeting King Triton's as she gave him a cold, measured look. Her bright purple eyes seemed distant. "Legal binding contract. That's what you said over the phone, right? Your daughter here signed a legal binding contract and now you both want to find a way out of it."

He nodded, glaring at the girl. "Do you have a copy of this contract?"

He tossed her a contract. She looked it over, reading it intently. "First, my advice, never sign a contract that leaves you _eternally_ in someone's debt. Second, your daughter only signed her first name. You can use this as a legal loop hole." She tossed the copy of the contract back to him. "It doesn't specify which _Ariel_ is bound by this contract. Find another _Ariel_ and have her replace your daughter."

"What?" They both shouted at the same time.

"Hey, I never said you would like it. Legal loopholes aren't pretty, even when they work in your favor. They're ugly things. My personal advice? If you hate this _'quote, unquote, witch'_ so much, have her killed. The legal contract is only binding as long as both parties are alive; at least, in this case. Oh, there's George now. George! Your three o'clock is here!"

A man waved to her, before whispering to the little man from earlier. He rushed over and brought a cart, placing both fish tanks on it, and carted the royal merfolk to their legal aid. George shut the door after they were inside. The small man appeared a moment later, closing the door, and wiped the sweat from his brow. "What ho, Simon! Having trouble this afternoon?" She asked in a pleasant voice.

"If you have enough time to inquire about my health, you have enough time to mop up the floor."

"I'll just have to do it again after they leave."

"No complaining, get to it!"

Setting down her book, she grabbed a broom that seemed to have just appeared and began to mop up the area in front of the door. Honestly, did they have to carry fish in with them too?

_Slightly more serious this time around. I just wanted my character to argue with King Triton because he seems like the type of person to easily get annoyed about no getting his way. Next time, Snow White has issues with her stepmother killing her! (Go figure. Who would have guessed that?) Also, Snow White_ is my favorite Disney princess, so I'm going to go a bit easy on her. It's not fun making my favorite princess cry.  



	3. Chapter 2: Contract Killings and Mystery

**The Legal Aid**

_**Chapter 3:**__** Contract Killers and Mystery Girls**_

"Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—Zander speaking. May I ask who's calling? Snow White? Contract killings? Sounds like you're having a tough time with it. You might need some legal advice. Call this number and make an appointment. You have a pen handy? Yes, quill is fine. Ready? Okay, the number is 1-800-847-9000. Yes, I know it's unusual for a legal aid company to have an 800 number. There's no helping it; they mostly take Disney characters. Yes, yes. It was nice talking to you to. Give me regards to the seven dwarves. I have another caller on hold, so I'll have to let you go. Yes, yes. Have a nice day. Good-bye. Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—this is Zander speaking. How may I help you today, Mister White Rabbit? Slow down, slow down. I understand you're late for an important date. Now, can you repeat that one more time?"

* * *

Snow White timidly entered the building, looking around hesitantly. A girl was sitting on the marble counter of the front desk, her legs crossed, a book held in front of her face. "Legal aid. Welcome." She said, not bothering to lower the book even in the slightest.

"Well, how do you do?" Snow White replied pleasantly.

The third door from the right opened and a small boy in a cape ran over to the girl, tugging on her jeans. She lowered the book, rested on her side, and leaned down so he could whisper in her ear. She nodded, whispered back in his ear, ruffled his hair and gave his a quick peck on the forehead. He blushed, nodded, and ran back to the door, still open, shutting it behind him. It faded from sight, as though it had never been there in the first place.

"There was an emergency case, so your legal aid representative has been detained. You'll have to wait quite a bit, I'm afraid, before he arrives. Would you like to make another appointment for another day, or do you mind waiting?" Her eyes were kind and sympathetic as she sized up the poor bewildered princess.

"Oh dear! Oh no, how terribly awful! I hope nothing to bad has happened?" Snow White inquired.

The girl shook her head sadly. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say the circumstances under which this unfortunate accident has happened. Legal rights of the client, and all."

Snow White nodded understandingly. "I see. Of course."

The girl nodded, waiting a moment before repeating herself. "I'm sorry to ask this again, but I must make a note of your answer. Will you be making an appointment for a later date, or will you be waiting?"

"Oh, of course! I'm terribly sorry! I meant to answer right away. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, would you mind terribly if I waited here?"

The girl nodded. She hopped off the marble counter, approaching Snow White. Like a born diplomat, she offered the princess her arm, who gratefully took it, and led her to a plush chair on the left side of the room. Once seated, the girl made her way to the front desk, jotted something down on a note pad, before grabbing a water bottle from behind the desk. She opened it and walked over to Snow White, handing it to her.

"Oh, thank you! You're nothing like what I expected!"

The girl smirked, making Snow White blush. Her short hair and boyish looks made her almost roguishly handsome, although there was enough of a touch of femininity to her that it was obvious she was a beautiful girl. "I take it the clients felt no need to conceal my involvement with the firm."

Snow White nodded, feeling as though she was betraying her friends. "Cinderella praised this place for taking care of her legal issues. She claimed that her supposed rival even disappeared after she came here! She also told me of a girl she met in the lobby, a bit on the crude side, but very helpful when it came to giving advice."

"Cinderella, eh? Yeah, I remember her." The girl scratched the back of her head, a crooked smile slowly spreading on her face. "She was a sweet girl. If I remember correctly, she saw Roger that day. I pulled a few strings, got her a better lawyer than she was originally supposed to see. I think she was originally lined up with Hansel. Sweet kid, but a bit gullible. Believes in anything, even gingerbread houses."

"So it was you! Oh my, you really are nothing like I pictured! She said you had extremely long hair, down to your back, and you wore a pretty blue sundress!"

"Yes I've cut it since then."

"Well," began Snow White again, trying to measure the girl out of the corner of her eye. "My dear, dear friend Ariel told me a slightly different story. She said a rude girl argued with her father before telling them about a nasty legal loophole. When her father complained about the girl to their legal aid, he said that everything she had said was perfectly true within the extent of the law. He said although she could have phrased it better, all her advice was sound. He explained how to follow her advice, and even suggested a girl who would be willing to take Ariel's place for a short period of time. But before they could go through with the plan, the contract mysteriously disappeared, leaving them free of Ariel's legal bind."

"So the contract disappeared, huh?" Her smirk grew, a secretive glint in her eyes. "Now why didn't I think of that?"

"Was that you as well? She said you had curly hair, down to your mid-back and purplish eyes. She also said you were wearing a green skirt and a green blouse with blue flowers on it."

"It was a little shorter than she describe, but yeah. I've styled it differently since then. Curls only look good on me at about mid-length."

The girl standing before Snow White was nothing like the girl the others had described. She wore blue jeans and a white top that had in red letters, "Legal aid for a small fee: your soul. The same price every other lawyer charges." Most people would have laughed politely at this, although Snow White was too demure to laugh. Her hair, short in front, was slightly longer in back, running partially down the back of her neck. It was brown, although a shade darker than light brown, and had golden brown streaks in it. Her large purple eyes studied Snow White as she studied the girl in front of her.

"Why are you so kind to me?"

"Of all the Disney princesses, you have always been my favorite." She sighed and pushed her bangs back slightly. "You were also the last Disney princess I was hoping to see."

Snow White had been elated that she was the girl's favorite princess. The girl, even dressed so casually, could have easily passed for a model, even with her boyish looks. So when she heard that the girl didn't want to see her, she tried not to show how much that hurt her. She turned away slightly and the girl sighed again, turning and briskly walking away, back to the marble counter. She hopped up, seating herself, and picked up her book, opening it so it concealed her face. However, she did not begin to read. Instead, she asked Snow White a question.

"Do you have your questions ready for your legal aid representative? They should be with you shortly."

Snow White started at this change in conversation, and at the business tone the girl had taken. "No, now that you mention it, I don't. I'm not sure what to ask. You see, I've been having some trouble with my stepmother…"

"Mm-hmm?"

"She keeps trying to kill me. She hired a woodsman to kill me first. Then a pretty lady with some hair combs gave me a poisoned one."

"Poisoned comb. That's a new one."

"Yes, it was in a story book."

"Ah."

"And another woman tied a sash around my waist so tight, I couldn't breathe."

"Another story book?"

"Yes."

"Ah."

"Finally, she gave me a poisoned apple. She transformed her appearance into an old woman in order to do this, and I hear she cannot turn back. She blames me for this transformation and I'm afraid she might try to attack me again."

"Have you talked to your Prince-to-be about this?"

"Oh, no! I couldn't worry him like that!"

"Mm-hmm. I see." The girl continued to hold the book in front of her face. "Hiring a contract killer is a serious offense. If this woodsman is willing to testify against her, you might just be able to win your case. I'm not sure about this sort of thing, so you'll have to ask for more information from Jorge." She waved a careless hand to the far right door on the other side of the room. It magically opened. "That should be him now."

Snow White stood, smiling. "Thank you ever so much! You were a great help."

The girl nodded. Snow White crossed the room but just as a man appeared, ushering her inside, the girl's voice stopped her. "And Snow White? I didn't mean I didn't want to meet you. I just didn't want to meet you here, a place people come to when they're in trouble."

Hopping down from the marble counter, the girl stretched and made her way over towards Snow White. She stopped several paces away, in front of the third door from the right, which had magically reappeared. The little boy opened the door and rushed out to meet her, hugging her legs. He glared at Snow White, before taking her hand and leading her forward. The girl smiled and waved good-bye to Snow White before disappearing through the doorway. The door magically disappeared yet again.

"My, what a charming young lady." Snow White smiled and turned back to Jorge. My, he was a gorgeous man. That was another reason she hadn't told her Prince-to-be she was coming. She had heard from both Cinderella and Ariel that the legal aides were hunks, pretty boys who could leave a girl drooling. She had to admit, Jorge had her pretty close to drooling.

_That was the (cough cough real cough) reason I wanted to creator this series. A legal aid service for the Disney princesses full of hottie hunks just for them. Of course, Cinderella didn't let her Prince Charming know she was secretly checking out their legal aid. This chapter was a little more serious than the other two. Not much humor to it, sorry. I kinda wanted to explain my character's presence thus so far. In case you caught it, yes, it was she who made Ursala's contract disappear. How she did so, I will leave up to your imaginations. As for the little boy, he's not as young as he seems, although he doesn't look much older than 12. His presence will be explained later. As to why he glared at Snow White, he was jealous._


	4. Chapter 3: False Legal Aid

_**Chapter 4:**__** False Legal Advice**_

"Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—Zander speaking. May I ask who is calling? Princess Jasmine? You have a complaint against your father's legal aid, Jaffar? Sounds like you need some legal advice. Call this number and make an appointment. You have a pen handy? Yes, quill is fine. Ready? Okay, the number is 1-800-847-9000. Yes, yes. It was nice talking to you to. I have another caller on hold, so I'll have to let you go. Yes, yes. Have a nice day. Good-bye. Hello? Magical, mystical, and royal advice—this is Zander speaking. How may I help you today, Sir Peter Pan? What was that about the Lost boys?"

* * *

"Legal aid. Welcome." Princess Jasmine sauntered in, glancing at the girl on the couch. The girl had semi-short hair, with golden streaks in it. She was reading a book, which obstructed most of the view of her face. However, from Snow White's description of the girl she had meet days earlier described this girl perfectly. She was wearing a simple white t-shirt with words on it and blue jeans. Next to her, on the back of the couch, was the Cheshire cat, whispering words to her. She ignored him for the most part, giggling every now and then. Princess Jasmine couldn't tell if she was laughing at what he was saying or the book.

She was leaning forward, resting on her left elbow, and Jasmine could just make out what her t-shirt said. In purple letters, it said, "God is a girl, can you believe it, can you receive it?" The girl laid out on the couch, lying on her front, and in large letter on her back was the words "Groove Coverage." Princess Jasmine had no idea what these words might mean, and she had no time to contemplate them.

"Girl. Are you the one I seek?"

The girl lowered her book, the smile on her lips fading, to look up at Princess Jasmine with large purple eyes. "Depends on who sent you."

The Cheshire cat laughed, its head bobbing in a creepy, detached way. "Now now now. That's not very nice! Once more, with more feeling." Both girls ignored him.

"Snow White complimented you on your cunning and kindness. I'd like to put you to the test."

"Oh, your favorite princess liked you! This must be fate!" teased the Cheshire cat, its creepy smile lighting up.

"Shut up. Your appointment ended and you no longer have any business here. Return to your story!"

Laughing in his eerie way, the Cheshire cat began to unravel his eyes and smile the last to go. He sang a quiet song until he disappeared, seeming to annoy the girl sufficiently. She pushed her hair back as she sighed in exasperation, turning to face Princess Jasmine once more. "Just so you know, Snow White was a special case. I will treat you no better or worse than everyone else."

Princess Jasmine paused, then inclined her head. "Understood."

"Fine. What can I help you with?" The girl sat up, a lazy business air to her.

"My father's legal aid has been crossing some major boundaries lately. He presumes to tell my father what to do in cases, which he has no authority over, and just recently, he sentenced to death a lad for a bogus reason! Then he turned around and blamed me, making it out as if it was my fault. He also seems to have some strange, almost mind control hold on my father. I worries me greatly."

The girl nodded sympathetically. "I see. So you believe that he is giving your father faulty legal advice? That has serious ramifications for him if you can build a strong enough case against him. Follow your legal aid's advice and I almost guarantee that he will be stripped of his title and status with months. There's George now. He did wonders for the little mermaid's case."

A door appeared, the third door on the right, and a small boy opened the door, leading a man out. "Hello, sweetheart. Ah, George, there you are. We were just talking about you. This young Madame needs your help with a faulty legal aid."

"Tsk, tsk. Tricky situation. Princess Jasmine." He bowed deeply, in respect to the princess, before turning towards the girl. "Thank you for your patronage, Miss." Princess Jasmine shot the girl a look but George beckoned her, leading her away through a different door. The boy hopped onto the girl's lap, who had sat up as soon as the door had appeared, looking up at her face. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, murmuring into his hair. He nodded and snuggled into her chest, a small smile on his lips. She smiled down at him before picking up the book she had laid aside. She turned the page and continued reading where she left off, stroking the boy's hair absently.

Several hours later, Princess Jasmine exited through the magical door, looking around curiously. The girl was on her back again, fully spread out on the couch, and the little boy was nowhere to be seen. The girl turned a page as Princess Jasmine inspected the wall, wondering about the disappearance of the door. "It's no use." The girl's voice called out. Princess Jasmine looked at her sharply but the girl continued reading.

"What's no use?"

"Those doors are magical. They link to any number of our branches. This is the Disney branch, which is why you mainly see Disney characters. Right now, George is seeing a Warner Brother's client, so you won't be able to go through the same door again. Besides, even if you did, there's no guarantee that it would lead back to the same room."

"And if it led to a different room?" Princess Jasmine asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

The girl looked up. "Then you would be trapped in another dimension for goodness knows how long, with no way of getting back."

Princess Jasmine crossed her arms. "Isn't that why you're here? To prevent that from happening?"

The girl laughed and shook her head. "What happens to you is my concern but it's not my job to prevent you from doing as you please."

"Then why are you here? What's your purpose? What's your job, your reason for being in this building?" Princess Jasmine's eyes narrowed as she realized something the other princesses had commented on. "What's your name?"

"My reasons for being here are my own and my purpose in this establishment is confidential. As for my job, I'm not at liberty to discuss that at the moment, and I wouldn't tell you even if I was." Her voice shifted from the business tone it had taken on to a playful manner as she said the last statement. "I have gone by many names in the past, and few alive know my real name. You may call me what you like."

Princess Jasmine glared at her for a moment before turning heel and quickly heading for the door. She paused before it, looking back. "If I called you Jasmine, would you answer to it?"

The girl didn't bother to look up. "If you insist. I'm no princess, though. I won't take your place in the storyline."

Princess Jasmine nodded her head in satisfaction. "I'll be back for my next appointment in two weeks. I expect to see you here."

The girl waved without looking up. "I'll be here."

* * *

_So I took the end of this chapter to explain slightly more about my character's presence. She has no name as of yet because no name seems to suit her for the moment. I might give her a name later on, but so far, it's more fun for me pretending she's this James Bond character who answers to any name you give her. Again, a more serious chapter. I added the part about the Cheshire cat because although he makes me smile now, he creeped me out when I was a little girl. I mean, come on, he was seriously creepy! Her job will be explained in the next chapter, when she meets up with Ariel again._


End file.
